In which I share a few thoughts on "Awake: A Memoir" by Jen Hatmaker
+ a wee giveaway to celebrate (now closed)
Hi friends,
No, you’re not time travelling to next week, but yes, I’m back in your inbox/app again! Just yesterday, I sent out my quarterly book corner post, reviewing and sharing all the books that have been on my bedside table lately but eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that there was one notable book missing from that stack.
Of course that wasn’t a mistake because this book needed more words than that one missive could contain. Truly, a sky-writer and a full manuscript wouldn’t be sufficient for my feelings about this particular book or its author.
That book is Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker. And today is the today it releases to the world.
Many of you know that Jen Hatmaker has been one of my dearest friends for more than thirteen years now; we are part of the loveliest little sisterhood of girlfriends who have basically made an unofficial covenant vow to bear witness to each other’s lives and to love one other ferociously for always.1
There is not one part of our lives that has gone unexamined by one another. Over all these years, we have laughed until we’ve cried, we’ve prayed desperately - and we’ve had long seasons where few of us even could pray. We’ve gone to depths of grief that we never imagined it was possible to survive. We’ve talked about our kids and our careers and our marriages and our relationships and our friendships and our parents until any reasonable person would have passed out from it. We’ve each been about four different women apiece in those years. Our circle is one of the most sacred relationships of my life and I am utterly devoted to all of these women and their own awakenings. They are stuck with me for always.
Basically, I will have zero chill about this book or about Jen.
I know that many of you have already preordered the book or requested it from your library. Perhaps you are halfway through reading it right this blessed second and are preparing your review for an online retailer.2 There has been wall to wall media coverage from CBS Sunday Morning to Oprah to People magazine (including a truly lovely review in The New York Times that made me well up for how deeply it understood exactly what I know she was trying to accomplish in this book). People are EXCITED about Awake in a way we haven’t ever seen before and it’s all well deserved. This is a fantastic book, worthy of every bit of ink spilled and word spoken about it. The hype is actually legit.
But I won’t pretend to offer a dispassionate review or recommendation for you. I am entirely biased.
Why? Because I still remember the phone call more than five years ago that Jen made to our little sisterhood on the very day she discovered her life as she knew it was imploding.
I still remember every moment of that awful day: every word she said, every tear she cried, every detail revealed, every scrap of devastation, every bit of anger and disbelief we shared, and every word she could not even say aloud but we knew in our bones. When I think back on those early days of apocalyptic revelation after revelation, I could bawl my eyes out all over again.
I prayed so often, interceding truly, for her and the kids in those early weeks, months even. I ended up sending her a little prayer cloth handkerchief thing I held in my hands while I prayed.3
So, to remember those early days and to see where she is right now? knowing every single hard-won victory, every scrap of grief she has navigated, every lie she had to excavate, every cruelty she endured from strangers and once-friends in real life or on the Internet, every depth of forgiveness she has plumbed, every ounce of healing she chased, every receipt she hunted down for her financial rebirth, every small evidence of life as grace, every visit to the doctor, every prayer we prayed, let alone her ferocious and protective love for her kids - a love that truly cannot be underestimated - I can only stand here before you and sing something that sounds a lot like oh, hallelujah.
Hallelujah. The morning came. It came. No matter how long and terrible the night, the morning came. It always does.
I never could have imagined how glorious the morning dawn would be after such a night of suffering. I can only rejoice in her awakening and in the way in which she has now decided to tell this story. Jen holds up a lantern for all of us who know dark nights of the soul.
God, I’m so proud of her. As her friend who loves her and as someone who bore witness to the whole living of this book, long before it was in your hands: eshet chayil, my friend. Woman of valour! Woman of warrior strength!
This is an incredible book because this story has been truly properly lived.
This is also the best book Jen has ever written. (And you know that is saying something.) She’s funny, she’s warm, she is disarming and generous and all that you know her to be. But she’s also ferocious, rightfully angry, and critical; brilliant and wise as she calls out b.s. - even her own.
(Also, I underlined hundreds of her sentences and dog-eared half the book. Good gracious, this woman can WRITE.)
Awake is that rare book that is as profoundly and radically kind as it is honest. This is a mature book from a steady woman, a hard-won story, and it's deeply compassionate.
At one point in the living of this story, I genuinely did not know if Jen would ever be able to write about this part of her becoming. But I shouldn’t have wondered. She’s made of strong stuff from strong roots.4 Jen is exactly who you think she is but she’s even better in real life than I could ever explain to you. And she’s a leader who leads from within, right from the centre of her soul. She held back so much, protected well, moved with gracious discernment, and I believe she can stand fully behind every line.
She wasn’t content to simply ‘tell her own story;’ she is too devoted to her community and to the women she especially serves5 for that angle, so she did the hard work to tell this story not only as he own awakening, but as a clarion call for us all to “awake” to our own lives. She wrote it, not a guide book, but as a lantern on the path ahead. In this book, Jen does what all our best teachers do: she illuminates the road for all of us to find our own awakening and our own journey home to Love in all her forms.
So as Awake heads out into the world to do exactly the work that it is meant to do, I wanted to make a little room here at Field Notes to say how proud I am of my friend and her good, good work in the world. I wanted to say that I love her and that the book she wrote is wonderful. I hope you get a chance to read it.
Love S.
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🥳 Giveaway!
I have three copies of Awake to send to three readers of Field Notes, all to celebrate the release! Just leave a comment on this post - you can share whatever you like: maybe a response to the book if you’ve read it, tell us about a friend who stood by you perhaps, maybe share a glimpse into your own resurrection story, or even just say hello where you are reading from today. Whatever!
We can ship to Canadian or USA mailing addresses only. Three winners will be chosen randomly and contacted using the email address associated with your Substack commenting account. Thanks for entering!
EDITED TO UPDATE: The contest is now closed and winners have been notified. Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments!
The books I've been reading lately: My recent ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reads plus all the books I finished recently from novels to spiritual classics (one of which I did NOT like much) to poetry and more
This is where the constellations shine in the darkness: I can’t figure it out, so I give God glory for it.
A Benediction for the (Stubborn) Ones Still Holding On: Or, a blessing for those still calling themselves Christians
Are we still calling ourselves Christians? Or are we done here?
Our sisterhood was convened by Kristen Howerton in 2012 or so; in addition to myself, Jen, and Kristen, we are held fast by Jamie Wright, Sarah Ford Goodfellow, and Tara Livesay.
Truly, this is one of the most unheralded ways to love and celebrate an author or book you loved: posting a review helps other readers find the book but it also helps the almighty algorithm that is constantly working against us. If you have read the book and you want to support Jen somehow, a submitted review is a fantastic way!
I even write about that in Field Notes for the Wilderness but you’ll read that story in the book from her perspective.
Jana and Larry, we love you. 🥰
Seriously, she adores you all and considers your needs as paramount in all her work. She is always putting you at the tip top of her priorities in her work and vocation. Plus she thinks you are all hilarious.
I can’t wait to read this book. I’m nearing 50, gay, still trying to find my way in this troubled world. I read your story…the friendships you have. I came out about 15 years ago, and found. Myself left by the church, and all of my friends of 20 years. Except one. ONE precious friend who to this day loves me unconditionally. These friendships are so precious, and my heart is tender just thinking about it. That kind of love is the love I am slowly coming back to in Jesus. ❤️ can’t wait to read this book!
I am now 78 and have gone through 2 implosions in my life. First, my husband of 15 years left me and our two sons when they were 8 and 10. I was 35. I started a new life three years later and had a third son. Twenty-five years into that marriage my husband committed suicide. I’m eager to read Awake … to see how others face implosions in their lives.