when I’m holding on to bad habits
from our beloved friend, Kate Bowler
Hi friends,
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve featured someone else’s words here at Field Notes. I don’t think I’m too territorial of a person, but apparently I am pretty protective of you all?? Anyway, I say that so that you know that this is a rare treat: we’re getting a glimpse into Kate Bowler’s brand new book this week.
Kate is a professor, speaker, podcast host, and New York Times bestselling author. Many of you read her brilliant books like Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved) or the more recent No Cure For Being Human: And Other Truths I Need To Hear, journeyed with her through forty day devotionals like Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection, listened to her excellent podcast Everything Happens, or even heard her speak at our Evolving Faith. She’s a favourite around here, I know.
No one holds the beautiful and terrible parts of being a person better than Kate.
However…
That isn’t the whole story either. Because I have many dear friends, many smart friends, many accomplished friends, true, but there is only one Kate, you understand.
Kate knows about Mr. Dress Up - and Casey and Finnegan. And the Friendly Giant! For Christmas, Kate is the only one that I sent a retro “Zeddy” teddy bear from Zellers because I knew she would appreciate such a wonder properly. Only Kate loves Canadian lore and nonsense in the same way I do. Only Kate sends the most absurd texts and typewritten notes in equal measure. Only Kate makes jokes about Mennonites and muppets and Manitoba with me. Her loyalty, pure heart, and earnestness can also make her an anomaly in our line of work which can often feel a bit callous or cynical. Only Kate is so smart, it’s actually ridiculous, yet so down to earth, earnest, and hilarious that you don’t resent her for it.
And only Kate loves Mac the Moose (in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, of course) the way that I do.
Basically, we pretend to be cousins. It’s partly our Canadian generational overlap, our join prairie-kid sensibilities, perhaps our shared feeling of “Otherness” in a lot of American-centric religious contexts or conversations, our mutual appreciation for roadside kitsch and snacks, and the fact that we are joyfully rejoice in and for each other while also being rapturously murderous to each other’s enemies.
Well, Kate has a new book out in just a couple of weeks called, Have A Beautiful, Terrible Day!: Daily Meditations for the Ups, Downs, & In-Betweens.
There are so few devotionals for folks like us, aren’t there? There are so few good daily companions for those of us who know both unanswered prayers and glorious grace in equal measure. So when one comes along, from someone whom we know is good people, well, it’s worth noticing.
This has been the longest preamble ever to simply say: here you go. My friend Kate wrote today’s Field Notes - it’s an excerpt about dealing with our own bad habits from her new book - and I think you’ll really like it. The entire book is made up of prayers, meditations, and reflection prompts just like this. If you do like it, check out her new book. You can trust her.
Love S.
P.S. We’re giving away a copy of this new book below to one random commenter so leave a comment to be entered to win. (Only USA/Canadian addresses, I’m afraid.) Just tell us how your own day is going to be entered to win. Giveaway closes next Monday January 15, 2024 and winner will be notified through email.
NOTE: GIVEAWAY HAS NOW CLOSED AND WINNER HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.
when I’m holding on to bad habits
by kate bowler
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”
–Romans 7:15 (NRSVUE)
I am researching a book on the history of self-help, so believe me when I say that a) I have read hundreds of books on habit formation and b) there is a reason there are hundreds of books on habit formation. Habits are incredibly difficult to make or break. We know this already because we rarely surprise ourselves. When was the last time you said: “Wow! I had no idea I loved bare-knuckle boxing!” Or “I thought I loved cheesecake but it turns out I only adore pork. Pork for me until the end of time!” We seldom change our preferences. And so too we seldom change our vices.
But when we feel that small tug on our conscience, it is a reminder. We are consistently being poked and prodded by the Holy Spirit (God’s sometimes quieter, sometimes louder counterpart). We are meant to change. We are meant to grow into someone more fully able to live in faith, hope and love. So here is a blessing for letting go of some of the bad habits that prevent us from growing. It’s terrible work but it’s also sort of wonderful.
Every familiar darkness is dear to me. My bitterness and gossip. My condescension and temper. I cherish my addictions as friends. Lord, I do not want the searing light of your truth-telling. No thanks. I barely want you to strike a match. But this is the way of salvation. You separated good from evil to hem in our nights. So I suppose I should let you. This is the day that the Lord has made. Lord, pull back the shadows of my heart. Expose my great comfort with my favourite sins. Sustain my hope in your transforming love as you convince me— please convince me— that you are dead-certain, rising-from-the-dead-certain, that I’m capable of allowing you to save me from myself.
Reflection prompt: I tend to be very reluctant to confess the sins I know about because I don’t want to change them. Truly. I do not want to. Otherwise I would have done it already. What if you admitted a little more by just saying: “God, I wish I wanted to change….” And trust that the Holy Spirit can do a lot with a little action like that.
Get to know Kate Bowler
Here’s her award-winning podcast (I’m on Season 5, Episode 11 to talk about my book Miracles and Other Reasonable Things)
Here’s a link to all her books
But here’s the link to the new one coming out on January 23rd from which this essay has been excerpted with permission.
Here’s her Instagram page
In case you missed these recent Field Notes:
Perhaps this is one secret of re-enchantment: Or, The Sacramental Masterpiece of Vacuuming
My Favourite Books of 2023: The faves for fiction and nonfiction books
Today is a both-and kind of day. It is both awesome and scary. After 7 weeks, my husband and I are picking up one of our daughter’s from a residential eating disorder facility. I say both-and because I am both so happy and so scared to continue this journey with her...to help her let go of her compulsions to restrict food intake and push back against the beauty industry. May we be up for the task.
It is a day. But not a terrible one and things have certainly been worse. I am in the cusp of a divorce being finalized after a year of sorting through the grief of betrayal - a divorce I never expected or wanted. I am a single mom now to two very tiny and energetic people and it is exhausting, but I revel in each moment with them. They are beautiful incredible humans. I live with joy, even in the terrible and I am so grateful.