A Simple Advent for the Exhausted Ones
A minimal guide for all of us who know the dark nights, who know what it means to wait, who know what it means to yearn for love and for light and also for a freaking break
Hi friends,
Advent begins on Sunday 30 November. And I have a hunch that there are a few of us here who simply don’t have much gas left in the tank. It’s been, as my culture likes to say, a bit of a year.1 So for our Field Notes Advent this year, I’ve created a very simple, entirely do-able (I hope), low-stakes Advent guide for the completely exhausted.
Many of us are tired in body, absolutely, but perhaps more honestly, we are also weary in spirit and soul and heart. It’s not just inflation and the job market, a gig economy and hustling. It’s not just time clocks and customer service, housework and making ends meet, laundry and litter boxes. It’s also the state of, well, everything. It’s the scrolling and the politics, it’s the disappointment and the despair, it’s the violence and cruelty, it’s the broken relationships and battered hearts that somehow still yearn for a thrill of hope. This guide is precisely for all of us who know the dark nights, who know what it means to wait, who know what it means to yearn for love and for light and for a freaking break for once.
If you have the energy and longing for daily readings and in-depth spiritual practices right now, go with God and we bless you. There are many options out there for you and in fact, I’ve written a few of them over the years.2
But for us tired ones, for right now? This is all the Advent that we can manage.
In the guide below, you’ll find one short scripture reading per week focused on the theme, a traditional Advent alternative reading, a breath prayer for the week, and a final blessing over it all. That’s it.
To be honest with you, this is all based on personal experience. There have been years where this sort of practice was all that I had room for in my days. And always I felt a vague sense of guilt and shame about it - “look at everyone else and all the lovely Advent things they are doing from crafts to playlists to spiritual practices to daily readings! I guess I’m not as holy or good as they are” etc.
But the truth is that God met with me there, right in the mess of a real life. I look at those years - particularly when my four kids were tiniest or when my illness was unmanageable or when grief was very near - with such tenderness now, such compassion, and even gratitude for God’s sustaining love, not in spite of my chaotic life but precisely because of it. Advent is for the exhausted ones, too.
So I wanted something for all of us with the dual realities we hold at this time: exhausted and beloved; grieving and hopeful; worn out and more than enough; pressed on every side and making some room for possibility; nothing left to give and willing to try. And right there, right in that wilderness and that reality, God’s grace meets us somehow, even if it looks very different than how it was advertised.
That, I believe, is the faithfulness and compassion of God. God gathers up our not-enough and turns it into more-than-enough. If this is all we can manage, all the hope we can muster right now, God blesses us. It is my genuine conviction that God, our Tender Mother-Saviour, sees our exhaustion, sees this moment, and will meet with us in the mustard seed faith that we have to offer right now with grace, mercy, and rest for our souls.
You don’t need to shame yourself or compare yourself about Advent of all things. Honour the capacity you have right now and trust the Love that holds everything will hold you in this, too. (And if it needs saying, you also get to opt out altogether and simply let your community or the worldwide Church carry you this Advent too. Free pass has been issued.)
Be blessed when the Child arrived and arrives,
when Love arrived and arrives,
even while you whisper, “I’m so tired.”
But first: what is Advent?
Advent is a Latin word that literally means “coming” or “arrival.” Advent is a season in the Christian Church calendar. Four weeks before Christmas, Christians all over the world and all throughout time observe a season of waiting and preparation, usually centred around weekly themes of hope, peace, joy, and love. This is the Church’s way of observing and remembering, of marking the truth we believe that God came to be with us once, and God is still with us, and God is coming again to set all things right. And if you want a daily chocolate calendar, too, well, bless it and enjoy.
What You Need to Begin
The Downloaded Guide (see below)
In the download below, you’ll find this new four-page guide to Advent, based on the lighting of the Advent candles with a reading or two from scripture (included) and a breath prayer for the week along with a full brand new blessing at the end for all of us who are exhausted.
I kept the printable quite plain, so that you can just print it out on your home printer easily or even navigate it on your mobile.
Scripture readings are from The Message paraphrase because I’ve found it to be hospitable for all ages and stages.
These aren’t the traditional Advent-y readings, I know, but they were purposely chosen with an eye on encouragement, clarity, gentleness, and even brevity. If you want a more traditional Advent reading, I’ve included a bonus reading option there for you, too.
Advent candles in your home
A wreath with four candles symbolizes the four weeks of Advent: hope, peace, joy, and love. You can purchase an Advent wreath and specific Advent candles in the traditional purple and pink colours to set up for this month, but honestly all you need are a few candles in a circle. You don’t have to spend money or make a big fuss to do this. When our kids were tinies, I literally had just cheap tea lights in a haphazard circle on a plate for our kitchen table. No matter what, whatever you have the capacity for is exactly what you should do.
An understanding of breath prayer
For those who aren’t familiar with breath prayers, there’s a primer here along with links to many other breath prayers I’ve written over the years. If you have never practiced breath prayer, just click over there, give that first section a quick skim read, and you’ll be all set.
And a paid subscription to Field Notes
This guide is for the paid subscribers to Field Notes, which costs $6 CAD/month (approx $4 USD /month USD) or - very, very good deal alert - $40 CAD/year (approx $28 USD/year) for an entire year of Field Notes, which gives you about five months of content for free. I’ve purposely kept the subscription price here more than half the usual price of most other newsletters in order to keep this space as accessible as possible. But one important thing: if you can’t swing the subscription for any reason at all, please just email assistant@sarahbessey.com and we’ll get you sorted out.3 Promise. It’s our joy to give away subscriptions to literally everyone who asks. Subscriptions aren’t meant to be a barrier, just a way to support this kind of work as well as create a quieter corner on the Internet for deeper conversations and comments.
All right, here’s your download ⬇️