This isn’t your “official” Field Notes for the week but it IS an invitation for you to help build it! It’s time for our quarterly “Ask Me Anything!” edition. Now, usually I post this as a question box on my Instagram stories but so many of you told me in our latest survey that you actually don’t use social media anymore that I decided to send this to you directly.
Leave a comment with any question you like here on this post. Then I’ll comb through the questions, choose a bundle of them to answer for this week’s newsletter, and share that as your Field Notes in a couple of days.
So hit that “Leave a comment” button and ask me anything - it can be silly or serious, theological or practical, writing-related, personal or even just the things you’re curious about these days. See you back here in your inbox with my answers in a couple of days!
Would you ever consider making a mini YouTube series where you taught the foundations of knitting? I feel like I need that calming Canadian voice of yours to reassure me as I try for the fifth time how to cast on and master even the most basic knit stitch. Your favorite needles, yarn, etc etc. **if not, any video recommendations for a beginner?
This isn't a question, but a comment I meant to leave several posts back when you mentioned that "Miracles" never gained a lot of traction. I have discovered through your books that we've lived almost identical parallel faith-lives up until the last 10 years or so when I haven't been able to reconnect with the Church the way (I think) I might like to. As a person not easily given to tears, I've been surprised to find myself crying at some point in each of your books, especially when you pray for us at the end. I read "Miracles" somewhat prepared for a few tears here or there. I did not expect to find myself sobbing & weeping uncontrollably (tears up now typing this). Your experience and words moved me like nothing spiritual has in a very long time. I can't say that anything has really changed in my life at this time, but my heart has been cracked open and is ready again. Thank you.
When your kids were little, what were your “best practices” to teach them/expose them to God/a “Christian” worldview? Looking especially for little things that become a normal rhythm of life.
After “deconstructing” your faith and certain beliefs you were previously taught, how did you find your new kind of faith and belief in God? I am desperately trying to find some sort of faith back, but am having a very hard time now finding ANY belief or hope in God/Jesus because too much of the Bible seems to make no sense and seems full of a cruel God. As a result of not being able to find a new or evolved faith, I have crippling anxiety and feel a lot of hopelessness, despair, and essentially an existential crisis. Life is hard, and I have only made it this far because I have at least previously been able to believe in God, heaven, that there is something better after this earthly life of suffering. And now, I desperately cry out to God and Jesus over and over to please grant me SOME sort of faith. Even a tiny mustard seed sized amount of faith. But I feel nothing, only fear and am almost angry that I was even born.
I know this is a heavy question. I hope you or someone in this community can provide some guidance.
Elle, I am responding here because you did say you are open to "someone in this community can provide some guidance." I read a book that completely transformed my walk with God and ushered in an entirely new lifestyle, including hearing God's voice and experiencing supernatural things like seeing healings, having my knee healed instantly, and other miracles. The book is older and is called "Forever Ruined by the Ordinary" by Joy Dawson. It is my "go to" for learning to hear God and to have faith the size of a mustard seed. I pray that you find what you are looking for!
Hi there, I stumbled on your post (I hope you don’t mind) and I am very moved. I’m a poet and I value creativity, and I often think a more comforting way to approach the divine is to try to see His (or Her?) creativity. There’s a lot of creation around (ordinary stuff, flowers, bees…) and it’s beautiful. Anyway, like I said, I value poetry as one form of creativity, so here’s a poem about religious comfort. I hope it appeals in some way. All the best! https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/157984/the-dark-night-of-the-soul
I would love to know how to approach the whole issue of gender. I believe in loving everyone 100% and treating everyone with dignity, but I struggle as a Christian with how to proceed when I believe that biological sex is still important…I don’t see how traumatic surgeries and hormones for children could be part of God’s plan. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I honestly do not understand how to navigate this culture.
I have a couple thoughts here, but I am not Sarah so please feel free to ignore :)
First, thanks for asking this in an open, kind way. I’m gonna throw a lot of jumbled thoughts in a row here:
First, trans people have always existed. We can look across time and culture and find this to be true. So while we are definitely having a cultural moment of more openly acknowledging and wrestling with this, it is not new. I think learning about that, along with the existence of intersex people (those born with parts / chromosomes that do not match up with being either male or female) helped me greatly in understanding that the gender binary isn’t quite as perfect as I had always thought.
Secondly, I think that, if nothing else, you can always say “I don’t get it, but I respect it” when someone says their soul doesn’t match their assigned gender, or that they have a new name or style of dress. I’m guessing you do this already, but just calling out that we can’t always understand, but we can always be kind and respectful.
Now on the part re: “traumatic treatments and surgeries”. I can see how this idea would be disquieting. Usually when we’re talking about gender affirming care for minors, we’re talking about puberty blockers. These allow a child who is trans to not go through puberty in a body they don’t want. If they later change their mjnd, they can go off the blockers and grow into their body. If not, they'll likely have a much easier transition (eg a transman might avoid needing top surgery). I'd offer that, often, this option avoids much more trauma than it causes. Medical care is not always traumatic. It can be life saving. I try to keep in mind that trans folks and trans kids especially are some of our most vulnerable neighbors, with some of the highest suicide and homicide rates of any group.
This was jumbled, but hopefully gives you a few things to look into further!
Also not Sarah, so feel free to skim right over my comment. But I’m also a Christian who believes biological sex matters, like you. And - I suspect unlike you - I have a sister who used to be my brother. That’s maybe not the best way of saying: I dearly love someone who happens to be transgender, and the Lord has invited me into some DEEP wrestling on this topic in an effort to love her well.
I don’t know why it exists, but gender dysphoria is very real and - if I’m brutally honest - sounds like a hellish experience if you don’t have faith in the sovereignty of God. Imagine having your exact understanding of yourself as a woman, but waking up every day in the body of a man. Every time you get dressed, go to the bathroom, feel your face, hear your voice, experience the way people interact with you… you’re brought back to an intensely discomforting and impossible to shake sense of WRONGNESS about yourself.
All that to say, I don’t know if I would make the same choice, but I wholeheartedly believe that living as a woman is my sister’s best hope (outside of Christ) at living at peace with her gender dysphoria. And that helps me to respect her choice, even if I think I would probably make a different one in her shoes.
I also think there’s a LOT of nuance and room to disagree on this topic, and I’m encouraged to see you digging deeper into that discomfort. We need more folks in the church who are willing to be vulnerable with the Lord on this topic in an effort to love well! 💛
Hi Annica, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate you saying that there is room for nuance and disagreement on this topic. It is really frustrating when people are not open to dialogue on these issues, especially if you are coming from a position that is not popular.
I completely agree that the experience of gender dysphoria sounds like an absolute nightmare (I have a cousin that went through this). The issue that I struggle with, is how it is no longer seen as a mental illness and has been changed in the DSM-5. I found it much easier to understand and to empathize with when it was viewed as a mental illness, because there is so much compassion for those individuals and we as Christians want them to get the supports that they need. But what I am finding in various circles in my life is that being transgender is viewed as just another wonderful variation in the human experience, and that we are free to choose our gender as it is not tied to our biological sex. This is where I get confused. I mean, people struggling with bipolar or schizophrenia are beautiful and loved by God, but I don't think that God intended for us to struggle with these issues. Similarly, someone struggling with gender dysphoria is precious and beloved, but I don't think that God created us to be confused with our gender and to reject our biological sex. I respect everyone's right to dress how they are most comfortable and to be called whatever name they choose, but I don't think I will ever be convinced that a person born male is a woman, and I sincerely hope that it's okay just to "agree to disagree" on this (sadly I am finding that it is not). I think at the end of the day I am mostly struggling with the concept of gender ideology in general, rather than transgenderism. Really hoping that Sarah can weigh in on this at some point!
Sorry, this got a little long! I spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it is difficult to find safe spaces to discuss these issues, so thank you for listening. Honestly, I hesitated to even write my original question and also this reply, out of fear for being canceled and kicked out of field notes!
I have searched the archives and can't find the post you once did (maybe years ago?) where you address questions about heaven, hell, and/or the afterlife. I would love to get to read that again, or if you could, write on that topic again. Thank you :)
Hi Sarah - on the topic of prayer, I find it much easier these days to either pray prayers of thanks, or just let my mind wander, sending questions or grumblings or heart cries into the great wide universe... I was wondering what your current thoughts are on prayers for God's provision (in a wide sense & not just financial.)? I work in a Christian environment where many colleagues still hold true to the power of such prayers and I want so much to stand & pray alongside them without letting cynicism creep in, but I find it increasingly challenging. Your heart for prayer is so evident, so I just wondered if you have any wisdom for times like this?
I don’t know if you can call what I practice as prayer. They are breath prayers but usually only one or two words like Calm, Peace, Love, Accept… is this prayer? I don’t direct them specifically at God. I don’t even like the word “God” anymore. Presence. Intuition. Creation Force. The Unknown. This is how I refer to God. Am I a believer if I don’t think you need to believe?
And on a chit chat note- thanks for posting the AMA prompt here, and hello to all the others using social media less 🥳 (and/or do we consider this comment section social media? Feels like it in a good way often)
So fun to get to read all the other great questions, too!
What is your definition of sexual immorality? I’m not interested in judging anyone. God does mention it in the Bible, though, and I’m not sure what it is anymore.
You said once that you have a swearing ranking system that you would never elaborate on. This thought has lived rent-free in my head ever since. Could you pretty please explain the system?
Can't answer for Sarah, but my kids get a dollar for one swear word and a quarter for the rest. Exceptions: talking about the Dodgers, car accidents, and when they're eavesdropping on our dinner parties. Haha.
I got a tattoo with one of my daughters about four years ago after I never thought I would. I see that you have at least one tat. Is there a special meaning behind your ink?
I’m in the same place, I’m not sure I’m ready to completely ready to abandon all belief…instead I feel drawn to the beauty I see in other religious traditions and worship and would want to know if there’s a reason to think that God is only limited to Christianity. Is Jesus the only way to God? Is it Jesus working in other faith’s under another name? Does the name of the deity matter? If God is love then surely love is found everywhere not just Christianity…does Jesus death and resurrection matter in other faiths? So many questions!
I am in the same boat. I desperately want to still believe in God, I need some hope, but I can’t seem to grasp even a morsel of faith. I would also like to know why/how people do believe there is a God!
I was a hard core evangelical Christian when I deconstructed during the pandemic. I lost everything. My faith, my community. I want to believe in God. I’m so open but I can’t find God. I don’t feel God. I’m not sure I ever did, so if God is there how do I know? I need someone to tell me why they believe. Where do they see God?
It sounds like a lot of change and a tough place to be. I, too, have deconstructed my faith, but I have found contemplative Christianity, which embraces mystery and love and God being with us rather than biblical certainty and judgment. God values your life so much. Might you be interested in listening to the Soul Care Podcast? Or you might read Rob Bell.
My background is in the Lutheran and Mennonite, but I met Jesus back in 1973 during the Jesus movment, so went all Pentacostal in my faith! Yet I led a very pride-filled, self-sufficient lifestyle for many, many years. And then in 1993, I had a supernatural experience of hearing an audible voice (Holy Spirit) that radically changed the direction of my life. When you have an experience like that, it changes you! It gave me a hunger for MORE of God, but the journey of growth has been slow, primarily because of my sin. You said "I need someone to tell me why they believe" so I take that as permission to comment here. I believe, because I have sought God's kingdom first (scripture says, "Seek first the kingdom of God" and all other things will be added to you) in my life. I have also, just over the past 2 years, become aware of the amount of demonic lies that I have believed and how evil spirits, generational sin, and curses can and will affect our thinking and mindsets. Believing in Jesus in these last days is NOT easy and Satan will do whatever he can to discourage, dissuade, distract, and destroy any level of faith. I pray Lexi that you find your way and that the truth of the deep love of Jesus will minister hope to your wounded heart.
How do you know that God loves you? Thanks to Jeff Chu's words during an EF conference, I've come to believe that God does love me. What I yearn for is some affirmation of this loving relationship. Are there ways that God's love for you stands out or calls to you?
Yes to this one! It is way easier to believe that God loves the world in the abstract than to know that he loves (or likes) me! I year for the exact same thing.
First of all, thanks for the invite-not-on-social-media. I thought I was the only one who was not on any :)
I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to approach reading the Old Testament with your children. I feel it is really important to read the bible with my son (now 9) and we read a little bit every night. We are alternating New Testament and Old Testament books, but we seem to have finished the 'comfortable/ safe' Old Testament ones (like Ruth and the Psalms) and parts of the Torah.
Some stuff is just too hard for kids anyway (I'm not ever going to read Ezekiel, for instance), but I struggle myself with some of the violent bits and I just don't know how to approach the Old Testament for him altogether. But I don't want to shy away from it either. So how did/ do you read the Old Testament with your tinies (when they were still tiny)?
(Weirdly, following the Bible Project's classrooms and podcasts, I'm really beginning to love the Old Testament for the first time and appreciate the wisdom and interconnectedness of these texts, but not at a level I feel able to communicate to a 9 year old).
I am with you on this - some OT stories are inappropriate for young kids (speaking of the impact they had on me as a child). Since I started de-constructing about 10 -15 years ago, I've had very little, if any desire to even read the Bible anymore, and find reading books/listening to podcasts have helped me much more in my spiritual journey. Rob Bell, RIchard Rohr, Pete Enns and others have been "lifesaving". Pete Enns (along with others) is in the process of writing a "Childrens Bible" which I am so looking forward to purchasing for my grandchildren. If you are interested here is the link for more info: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/b4np/gods-stories-as-told-by-gods-children/faqs
Do you think people of different religious faiths worship the same God as Christians? I suppose this is a round about way of asking what your thoughts are on universalism?
Also all the questions I asked in my reply to Lexi:
I’m in the same place, I’m not sure I’m ready to completely ready to abandon all belief…instead I feel drawn to the beauty I see in other religious traditions and worship and would want to know if there’s a reason to think that God is only limited to Christianity. Is Jesus the only way to God? Is it Jesus working in other faith’s under another name? Does the name of the deity matter? If God is love then surely love is found everywhere not just Christianity…does Jesus death and resurrection matter in other faiths? So many questions!
What's been your relationship with the church / how have you gone about finding a faith community / from a fellow YYC resident, do you have any recommendations?
So... I've been struggling with miracles on and off for quite some time now. I don't want to believe in them anymore. Why pray for a miracle, and thus buy into the idea that God 'grants' miracles to some, but not to others? (To put it cynically). I find it easier to not believe in them anymore, and still see Gods presence in heartbreaking circumstances through, well, His presence, God with us, showing up through small and large things, which you might even call miracles (but not the grant gestures like healing someone from cancer, to name an example). BUT then I read the Gospels and Jesus does miracles, healing one person after the other, and I'm confused again, maybe even angry, that healing seems to happen so easily. So, would love to hear your thoughts on this! (And yes I'll be ordering the Amazon deal for your Miracles book 😊)
Strap yourself in 'cause this might by a long journey to figure out what I'm trying to say...I have been journaling using Field Notes for the Wilderness and I'm am really loving the process. But the other day a question came up "when was the last time God surprised you" and I got stuck. Surprised by God? I couldn't think of anything, so I left it. But then yesterday the same question was posed to me by a completely different person and so now I am struck by the universe's way of forcing my hand (so to speak). I find the idea of being 'surprised' by God really hard because it feels like I have to ascribe something really specific to God, kind of like a 'God-job'. For example, if I get something that I really want it's because God had a hand in it. But the idea of God intervening on my individual behalf seems unbelievable. As Nick Cave so eloquently put it, I don't believe in an interventionist God. So Sarah, my question is: how do you make sense of 'God-jobs' and when was the last time you were surprised by God?
I love this. My question is related to a comment I made on one of your previous posts.
How do I navigate nurturing faith in my children, while simultaneously barely wanting to set foot in a church myself? I want them to find their way, and I know Jesus will find them, but I am having such a hard time with how to do this as a deconstructing parent who probably wouldn't call myself a Christian if it weren't for the kids. I feel like an imposter sometimes. Did I mention that they also go to a Christian school?
I completely relate to this. My faith is totally different from when our kids were little. My youngest (13) is still at a Christian school AND I work there too. There are a range of views on staff but the conservative voices 'shout the loudest' and are least open to tolerance. So I feel I'm really on edge for what my son is taught during these formative years, and I'm constantly offering a counter-narrative so he knows there are a range of views. We left church in 2021 too so I'm also still working through the guilt of taking him away from that community & way of life when it was such a big part of life for us. Our eldest has played football (*soccer - we're in the UK) for years so church has been on he back-burner for a while (for him & my husband), but I do worry a lot that our youngest is getting mixed messages & we're making any simple faith thoroughly confusing for him!
I have been religious in my own way for a long time, and have always felt God close by, most especially during a high risk pregnancy. But my sweet little dog got out of our yard, how I do not know, and was hit by a car last week. And all of my deep feeling of God and of a place where all souls go in death (the hope that I might see him again, which I've always held for all my loved ones, human and furry) has been disrupted.
I know people have lost much more and grieved more deeply, and have found their way back. How do you keep on believing, and how do I drop my judgements of my own thoughts (that it's silly to believe in that kind of afterlife, where we will find one another again, though i want to believe so deeply)?
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your pain is real and it is not silly to want the assurance that we will see our beloved pets again after their (and our own) death. This issue, whether we will see our pets in heaven, is a topic that God has led me to study and He is birthing a ministry through me to bring HOPE to grieving pet lovers for those whose pets have died or were lost and never found (a different yet traumatizing pain that has no closure). I don't have anything published on this yet, as I'm still in the research stages, but I'd be happy to share what I've learned if you have questions. Just know that God created you specifically to deeply love dogs/animals for a purpose. He created some (Cain) to be farmers and some (Abel) to be shepherds who care for animals. Scripture is clear that ruling over (protecting, loving, caring about) animals is one of man's duties, but not everyone is born as part of the tribe of us pet lovers. So those in your life who dismiss, discount, or demean your grief and pain over the death of your dog just simply don't and can't understand your loss. They are farmers, not shepherds, and they just don't want to see you grieve over something they can't relate to. FORGIVE THEM as most of them mean well inspite of their saying hurtful things about your pain.
He himself is the #1 pet lover since He created them! He knew that many of us NEED the unconditional love that we experience and the joy that we pet lovers feel when cuddling a warm kitten, smelling the sweetness of puppy breath, or seeing the excited wagging tail of our dog when we come home from a long day at work. We are eternal beings who serve an eternal, loving God who created beautiful things for HIS pleasure AND for ours. In spite of the fact that many Christians say "there is no Biblical proof that pets will be in heaven because they are not mentioned as being in heaven anywhere in the Bible," I would counter that by saying "there is no Biblical proof that babies will be in heaven because they, just like cats and dogs, are not mentioned as being in heaven anywhere in the Bible." I happen to believe that BOTH babies and animals (innocent as these different yet LOVED created beings are) will be in heaven. And actually, the Bible DOES indicate that there are white horses in heaven since Jesus (followed by us saints) will one day return to earth riding white horses!
Sorry for this novella, but I just want to say that God sees your grief. Your desire to see you dog again some day is a natural desire because you were created to love that dog. And love doesn't die...it, like our triune God and His beloved creation, is eternal!
You're Canadian, and your husband is American. Are there things associated with the other's country (habits/words/entertainment/foods/whatever) that you have picked up from each other?
How to approach the Bible with littles (i.e. preschool age) to build a healthy relationship with God, while staying away from potentially damaging OT stories about God? For example, Abraham going to sacrifice Isaac or how to approach the Creation story without taking it literally?
In light of the current political environment in the United States (I know you are a Canadian) and the marriage of the conservative Christian church to the current political process, how do you maintain any semblance of belief in God, God's goodness, and love? I'm using RHE's phrase, "On the days I believe this" much more frequently lately.
Do you have any resources or wisdom for dating as a progressive Christian? How on earth do you actually take the risk of choosing to marry someone? This is what's weighing on me at the moment as I navigate my mid-twenties. How do you break up with someone with kindness?
Thanks for asking us to ask! Being part of this community is really life giving being among like-minded and civil folk - civility is something we sadly can’t count on these days and it’s a gift to be among those who wrestle with hard questions and don’t demand easy answers!!
What has been your favorite novel you’ve read this year??
How can one live their truth and be of service when they are on disability? I’m feeling lost and alone and loosing my sense of purpose in the world the longer I am off work. I desperately want to share my gifts but can’t anymore because I’m not working.
What do you think of Anne of Green Gables retellings and modernizations? (Personally, I like the idea more than the executions I’ve read, though there is one graphic novel I thought would be a good intro for some kids. Some modern retellings have put Diana and Anne together as a couple. I love LBGTQ+ representation in books, but I also love Anne and Gilbert and don’t want that to be messed with. Thoughts?)
Just last night I opened "The Making of Biblical Womanhood" and her introduction said she didn't know you personally but found one of your books really supportive and meaningful. What is it like for you when something like that happens? I gave a little cheer.
I was wondering if your daughter had left for college (I think you said that was her post high school plan) and how you were doing as a mother? Any guidance for those of sending our young adults out into the world?
I'd love to hear your perspective from afar on the US presidential election. The DNC has been like church so far, so it's top of mind, but I really am wondering what all of this looks like from the outside.
Would you ever consider making a mini YouTube series where you taught the foundations of knitting? I feel like I need that calming Canadian voice of yours to reassure me as I try for the fifth time how to cast on and master even the most basic knit stitch. Your favorite needles, yarn, etc etc. **if not, any video recommendations for a beginner?
This isn't a question, but a comment I meant to leave several posts back when you mentioned that "Miracles" never gained a lot of traction. I have discovered through your books that we've lived almost identical parallel faith-lives up until the last 10 years or so when I haven't been able to reconnect with the Church the way (I think) I might like to. As a person not easily given to tears, I've been surprised to find myself crying at some point in each of your books, especially when you pray for us at the end. I read "Miracles" somewhat prepared for a few tears here or there. I did not expect to find myself sobbing & weeping uncontrollably (tears up now typing this). Your experience and words moved me like nothing spiritual has in a very long time. I can't say that anything has really changed in my life at this time, but my heart has been cracked open and is ready again. Thank you.
I completely agree- I still think about parts of that book often.
When your kids were little, what were your “best practices” to teach them/expose them to God/a “Christian” worldview? Looking especially for little things that become a normal rhythm of life.
I’d love this too! Since we don’t go to church I’ve been curious how to introduce my kids to some of the things we still believe
+1
This is what’s on my mind too
After “deconstructing” your faith and certain beliefs you were previously taught, how did you find your new kind of faith and belief in God? I am desperately trying to find some sort of faith back, but am having a very hard time now finding ANY belief or hope in God/Jesus because too much of the Bible seems to make no sense and seems full of a cruel God. As a result of not being able to find a new or evolved faith, I have crippling anxiety and feel a lot of hopelessness, despair, and essentially an existential crisis. Life is hard, and I have only made it this far because I have at least previously been able to believe in God, heaven, that there is something better after this earthly life of suffering. And now, I desperately cry out to God and Jesus over and over to please grant me SOME sort of faith. Even a tiny mustard seed sized amount of faith. But I feel nothing, only fear and am almost angry that I was even born.
I know this is a heavy question. I hope you or someone in this community can provide some guidance.
My thoughts exactly.
Just read your question, Elle, and wanted to send a big virtual hug- what a hard place to be.
Thank you Naomi. :)
Elle, I am responding here because you did say you are open to "someone in this community can provide some guidance." I read a book that completely transformed my walk with God and ushered in an entirely new lifestyle, including hearing God's voice and experiencing supernatural things like seeing healings, having my knee healed instantly, and other miracles. The book is older and is called "Forever Ruined by the Ordinary" by Joy Dawson. It is my "go to" for learning to hear God and to have faith the size of a mustard seed. I pray that you find what you are looking for!
Thanks Kat, I will look up that book.
Hi there, I stumbled on your post (I hope you don’t mind) and I am very moved. I’m a poet and I value creativity, and I often think a more comforting way to approach the divine is to try to see His (or Her?) creativity. There’s a lot of creation around (ordinary stuff, flowers, bees…) and it’s beautiful. Anyway, like I said, I value poetry as one form of creativity, so here’s a poem about religious comfort. I hope it appeals in some way. All the best! https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/157984/the-dark-night-of-the-soul
I would love to know how to approach the whole issue of gender. I believe in loving everyone 100% and treating everyone with dignity, but I struggle as a Christian with how to proceed when I believe that biological sex is still important…I don’t see how traumatic surgeries and hormones for children could be part of God’s plan. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I honestly do not understand how to navigate this culture.
Hi Katie,
I have a couple thoughts here, but I am not Sarah so please feel free to ignore :)
First, thanks for asking this in an open, kind way. I’m gonna throw a lot of jumbled thoughts in a row here:
First, trans people have always existed. We can look across time and culture and find this to be true. So while we are definitely having a cultural moment of more openly acknowledging and wrestling with this, it is not new. I think learning about that, along with the existence of intersex people (those born with parts / chromosomes that do not match up with being either male or female) helped me greatly in understanding that the gender binary isn’t quite as perfect as I had always thought.
Secondly, I think that, if nothing else, you can always say “I don’t get it, but I respect it” when someone says their soul doesn’t match their assigned gender, or that they have a new name or style of dress. I’m guessing you do this already, but just calling out that we can’t always understand, but we can always be kind and respectful.
Now on the part re: “traumatic treatments and surgeries”. I can see how this idea would be disquieting. Usually when we’re talking about gender affirming care for minors, we’re talking about puberty blockers. These allow a child who is trans to not go through puberty in a body they don’t want. If they later change their mjnd, they can go off the blockers and grow into their body. If not, they'll likely have a much easier transition (eg a transman might avoid needing top surgery). I'd offer that, often, this option avoids much more trauma than it causes. Medical care is not always traumatic. It can be life saving. I try to keep in mind that trans folks and trans kids especially are some of our most vulnerable neighbors, with some of the highest suicide and homicide rates of any group.
This was jumbled, but hopefully gives you a few things to look into further!
Thanks for sharing your perspective Hayley; lots to unpack here!
Hey Katie!
Also not Sarah, so feel free to skim right over my comment. But I’m also a Christian who believes biological sex matters, like you. And - I suspect unlike you - I have a sister who used to be my brother. That’s maybe not the best way of saying: I dearly love someone who happens to be transgender, and the Lord has invited me into some DEEP wrestling on this topic in an effort to love her well.
I don’t know why it exists, but gender dysphoria is very real and - if I’m brutally honest - sounds like a hellish experience if you don’t have faith in the sovereignty of God. Imagine having your exact understanding of yourself as a woman, but waking up every day in the body of a man. Every time you get dressed, go to the bathroom, feel your face, hear your voice, experience the way people interact with you… you’re brought back to an intensely discomforting and impossible to shake sense of WRONGNESS about yourself.
All that to say, I don’t know if I would make the same choice, but I wholeheartedly believe that living as a woman is my sister’s best hope (outside of Christ) at living at peace with her gender dysphoria. And that helps me to respect her choice, even if I think I would probably make a different one in her shoes.
I also think there’s a LOT of nuance and room to disagree on this topic, and I’m encouraged to see you digging deeper into that discomfort. We need more folks in the church who are willing to be vulnerable with the Lord on this topic in an effort to love well! 💛
Hi Annica, thanks for your reply. I really appreciate you saying that there is room for nuance and disagreement on this topic. It is really frustrating when people are not open to dialogue on these issues, especially if you are coming from a position that is not popular.
I completely agree that the experience of gender dysphoria sounds like an absolute nightmare (I have a cousin that went through this). The issue that I struggle with, is how it is no longer seen as a mental illness and has been changed in the DSM-5. I found it much easier to understand and to empathize with when it was viewed as a mental illness, because there is so much compassion for those individuals and we as Christians want them to get the supports that they need. But what I am finding in various circles in my life is that being transgender is viewed as just another wonderful variation in the human experience, and that we are free to choose our gender as it is not tied to our biological sex. This is where I get confused. I mean, people struggling with bipolar or schizophrenia are beautiful and loved by God, but I don't think that God intended for us to struggle with these issues. Similarly, someone struggling with gender dysphoria is precious and beloved, but I don't think that God created us to be confused with our gender and to reject our biological sex. I respect everyone's right to dress how they are most comfortable and to be called whatever name they choose, but I don't think I will ever be convinced that a person born male is a woman, and I sincerely hope that it's okay just to "agree to disagree" on this (sadly I am finding that it is not). I think at the end of the day I am mostly struggling with the concept of gender ideology in general, rather than transgenderism. Really hoping that Sarah can weigh in on this at some point!
Sorry, this got a little long! I spend a lot of time thinking about it, but it is difficult to find safe spaces to discuss these issues, so thank you for listening. Honestly, I hesitated to even write my original question and also this reply, out of fear for being canceled and kicked out of field notes!
I have searched the archives and can't find the post you once did (maybe years ago?) where you address questions about heaven, hell, and/or the afterlife. I would love to get to read that again, or if you could, write on that topic again. Thank you :)
I would love to hear more about your thoughts on this, too ❤️
So funny I just wrote same question, you worded it better. I didn’t even know I did until I read it🌺
Hi Sarah - on the topic of prayer, I find it much easier these days to either pray prayers of thanks, or just let my mind wander, sending questions or grumblings or heart cries into the great wide universe... I was wondering what your current thoughts are on prayers for God's provision (in a wide sense & not just financial.)? I work in a Christian environment where many colleagues still hold true to the power of such prayers and I want so much to stand & pray alongside them without letting cynicism creep in, but I find it increasingly challenging. Your heart for prayer is so evident, so I just wondered if you have any wisdom for times like this?
I don’t know if you can call what I practice as prayer. They are breath prayers but usually only one or two words like Calm, Peace, Love, Accept… is this prayer? I don’t direct them specifically at God. I don’t even like the word “God” anymore. Presence. Intuition. Creation Force. The Unknown. This is how I refer to God. Am I a believer if I don’t think you need to believe?
This is actually exactly my question - see above, you could just replace 'miracles and healing' with 'God's provision' 😊
And on a chit chat note- thanks for posting the AMA prompt here, and hello to all the others using social media less 🥳 (and/or do we consider this comment section social media? Feels like it in a good way often)
So fun to get to read all the other great questions, too!
What is your definition of sexual immorality? I’m not interested in judging anyone. God does mention it in the Bible, though, and I’m not sure what it is anymore.
You said once that you have a swearing ranking system that you would never elaborate on. This thought has lived rent-free in my head ever since. Could you pretty please explain the system?
Can't answer for Sarah, but my kids get a dollar for one swear word and a quarter for the rest. Exceptions: talking about the Dodgers, car accidents, and when they're eavesdropping on our dinner parties. Haha.
Would love to know this answer!
I got a tattoo with one of my daughters about four years ago after I never thought I would. I see that you have at least one tat. Is there a special meaning behind your ink?
I’m not sure I believe in God anymore but I still want to. Can you tell me why you think there is a God?
I’m in the same place, I’m not sure I’m ready to completely ready to abandon all belief…instead I feel drawn to the beauty I see in other religious traditions and worship and would want to know if there’s a reason to think that God is only limited to Christianity. Is Jesus the only way to God? Is it Jesus working in other faith’s under another name? Does the name of the deity matter? If God is love then surely love is found everywhere not just Christianity…does Jesus death and resurrection matter in other faiths? So many questions!
I am in the same boat. I desperately want to still believe in God, I need some hope, but I can’t seem to grasp even a morsel of faith. I would also like to know why/how people do believe there is a God!
I was a hard core evangelical Christian when I deconstructed during the pandemic. I lost everything. My faith, my community. I want to believe in God. I’m so open but I can’t find God. I don’t feel God. I’m not sure I ever did, so if God is there how do I know? I need someone to tell me why they believe. Where do they see God?
It sounds like a lot of change and a tough place to be. I, too, have deconstructed my faith, but I have found contemplative Christianity, which embraces mystery and love and God being with us rather than biblical certainty and judgment. God values your life so much. Might you be interested in listening to the Soul Care Podcast? Or you might read Rob Bell.
My background is in the Lutheran and Mennonite, but I met Jesus back in 1973 during the Jesus movment, so went all Pentacostal in my faith! Yet I led a very pride-filled, self-sufficient lifestyle for many, many years. And then in 1993, I had a supernatural experience of hearing an audible voice (Holy Spirit) that radically changed the direction of my life. When you have an experience like that, it changes you! It gave me a hunger for MORE of God, but the journey of growth has been slow, primarily because of my sin. You said "I need someone to tell me why they believe" so I take that as permission to comment here. I believe, because I have sought God's kingdom first (scripture says, "Seek first the kingdom of God" and all other things will be added to you) in my life. I have also, just over the past 2 years, become aware of the amount of demonic lies that I have believed and how evil spirits, generational sin, and curses can and will affect our thinking and mindsets. Believing in Jesus in these last days is NOT easy and Satan will do whatever he can to discourage, dissuade, distract, and destroy any level of faith. I pray Lexi that you find your way and that the truth of the deep love of Jesus will minister hope to your wounded heart.
How do you know that God loves you? Thanks to Jeff Chu's words during an EF conference, I've come to believe that God does love me. What I yearn for is some affirmation of this loving relationship. Are there ways that God's love for you stands out or calls to you?
Yes to this one! It is way easier to believe that God loves the world in the abstract than to know that he loves (or likes) me! I year for the exact same thing.
What have been your favourite ways to make new friends as an adult ? (When in a new community etc)
First of all, thanks for the invite-not-on-social-media. I thought I was the only one who was not on any :)
I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to approach reading the Old Testament with your children. I feel it is really important to read the bible with my son (now 9) and we read a little bit every night. We are alternating New Testament and Old Testament books, but we seem to have finished the 'comfortable/ safe' Old Testament ones (like Ruth and the Psalms) and parts of the Torah.
Some stuff is just too hard for kids anyway (I'm not ever going to read Ezekiel, for instance), but I struggle myself with some of the violent bits and I just don't know how to approach the Old Testament for him altogether. But I don't want to shy away from it either. So how did/ do you read the Old Testament with your tinies (when they were still tiny)?
(Weirdly, following the Bible Project's classrooms and podcasts, I'm really beginning to love the Old Testament for the first time and appreciate the wisdom and interconnectedness of these texts, but not at a level I feel able to communicate to a 9 year old).
I am with you on this - some OT stories are inappropriate for young kids (speaking of the impact they had on me as a child). Since I started de-constructing about 10 -15 years ago, I've had very little, if any desire to even read the Bible anymore, and find reading books/listening to podcasts have helped me much more in my spiritual journey. Rob Bell, RIchard Rohr, Pete Enns and others have been "lifesaving". Pete Enns (along with others) is in the process of writing a "Childrens Bible" which I am so looking forward to purchasing for my grandchildren. If you are interested here is the link for more info: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/b4np/gods-stories-as-told-by-gods-children/faqs
O, that is sounds pretty good; I'm going to keep an eye on that one. Thank you for sharing the link!
Do you think people of different religious faiths worship the same God as Christians? I suppose this is a round about way of asking what your thoughts are on universalism?
Also all the questions I asked in my reply to Lexi:
I’m in the same place, I’m not sure I’m ready to completely ready to abandon all belief…instead I feel drawn to the beauty I see in other religious traditions and worship and would want to know if there’s a reason to think that God is only limited to Christianity. Is Jesus the only way to God? Is it Jesus working in other faith’s under another name? Does the name of the deity matter? If God is love then surely love is found everywhere not just Christianity…does Jesus death and resurrection matter in other faiths? So many questions!
When do you feel most like yourself? ✨
What's been your relationship with the church / how have you gone about finding a faith community / from a fellow YYC resident, do you have any recommendations?
So... I've been struggling with miracles on and off for quite some time now. I don't want to believe in them anymore. Why pray for a miracle, and thus buy into the idea that God 'grants' miracles to some, but not to others? (To put it cynically). I find it easier to not believe in them anymore, and still see Gods presence in heartbreaking circumstances through, well, His presence, God with us, showing up through small and large things, which you might even call miracles (but not the grant gestures like healing someone from cancer, to name an example). BUT then I read the Gospels and Jesus does miracles, healing one person after the other, and I'm confused again, maybe even angry, that healing seems to happen so easily. So, would love to hear your thoughts on this! (And yes I'll be ordering the Amazon deal for your Miracles book 😊)
In what ways have you surprised yourself as an author?
Strap yourself in 'cause this might by a long journey to figure out what I'm trying to say...I have been journaling using Field Notes for the Wilderness and I'm am really loving the process. But the other day a question came up "when was the last time God surprised you" and I got stuck. Surprised by God? I couldn't think of anything, so I left it. But then yesterday the same question was posed to me by a completely different person and so now I am struck by the universe's way of forcing my hand (so to speak). I find the idea of being 'surprised' by God really hard because it feels like I have to ascribe something really specific to God, kind of like a 'God-job'. For example, if I get something that I really want it's because God had a hand in it. But the idea of God intervening on my individual behalf seems unbelievable. As Nick Cave so eloquently put it, I don't believe in an interventionist God. So Sarah, my question is: how do you make sense of 'God-jobs' and when was the last time you were surprised by God?
I love this. My question is related to a comment I made on one of your previous posts.
How do I navigate nurturing faith in my children, while simultaneously barely wanting to set foot in a church myself? I want them to find their way, and I know Jesus will find them, but I am having such a hard time with how to do this as a deconstructing parent who probably wouldn't call myself a Christian if it weren't for the kids. I feel like an imposter sometimes. Did I mention that they also go to a Christian school?
I completely relate to this. My faith is totally different from when our kids were little. My youngest (13) is still at a Christian school AND I work there too. There are a range of views on staff but the conservative voices 'shout the loudest' and are least open to tolerance. So I feel I'm really on edge for what my son is taught during these formative years, and I'm constantly offering a counter-narrative so he knows there are a range of views. We left church in 2021 too so I'm also still working through the guilt of taking him away from that community & way of life when it was such a big part of life for us. Our eldest has played football (*soccer - we're in the UK) for years so church has been on he back-burner for a while (for him & my husband), but I do worry a lot that our youngest is getting mixed messages & we're making any simple faith thoroughly confusing for him!
Yes, this! I struggle with this so much.
I have been religious in my own way for a long time, and have always felt God close by, most especially during a high risk pregnancy. But my sweet little dog got out of our yard, how I do not know, and was hit by a car last week. And all of my deep feeling of God and of a place where all souls go in death (the hope that I might see him again, which I've always held for all my loved ones, human and furry) has been disrupted.
I know people have lost much more and grieved more deeply, and have found their way back. How do you keep on believing, and how do I drop my judgements of my own thoughts (that it's silly to believe in that kind of afterlife, where we will find one another again, though i want to believe so deeply)?
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your pain is real and it is not silly to want the assurance that we will see our beloved pets again after their (and our own) death. This issue, whether we will see our pets in heaven, is a topic that God has led me to study and He is birthing a ministry through me to bring HOPE to grieving pet lovers for those whose pets have died or were lost and never found (a different yet traumatizing pain that has no closure). I don't have anything published on this yet, as I'm still in the research stages, but I'd be happy to share what I've learned if you have questions. Just know that God created you specifically to deeply love dogs/animals for a purpose. He created some (Cain) to be farmers and some (Abel) to be shepherds who care for animals. Scripture is clear that ruling over (protecting, loving, caring about) animals is one of man's duties, but not everyone is born as part of the tribe of us pet lovers. So those in your life who dismiss, discount, or demean your grief and pain over the death of your dog just simply don't and can't understand your loss. They are farmers, not shepherds, and they just don't want to see you grieve over something they can't relate to. FORGIVE THEM as most of them mean well inspite of their saying hurtful things about your pain.
He himself is the #1 pet lover since He created them! He knew that many of us NEED the unconditional love that we experience and the joy that we pet lovers feel when cuddling a warm kitten, smelling the sweetness of puppy breath, or seeing the excited wagging tail of our dog when we come home from a long day at work. We are eternal beings who serve an eternal, loving God who created beautiful things for HIS pleasure AND for ours. In spite of the fact that many Christians say "there is no Biblical proof that pets will be in heaven because they are not mentioned as being in heaven anywhere in the Bible," I would counter that by saying "there is no Biblical proof that babies will be in heaven because they, just like cats and dogs, are not mentioned as being in heaven anywhere in the Bible." I happen to believe that BOTH babies and animals (innocent as these different yet LOVED created beings are) will be in heaven. And actually, the Bible DOES indicate that there are white horses in heaven since Jesus (followed by us saints) will one day return to earth riding white horses!
Sorry for this novella, but I just want to say that God sees your grief. Your desire to see you dog again some day is a natural desire because you were created to love that dog. And love doesn't die...it, like our triune God and His beloved creation, is eternal!
That was beautiful, and I thank you for your words. Love is stronger than death ♥️
When did you learn to knit? what drew you to this practice (do you find knitting to be a spiritual practice?)
You're Canadian, and your husband is American. Are there things associated with the other's country (habits/words/entertainment/foods/whatever) that you have picked up from each other?
I’d love to know your best tips for staying connected with your kids.
How has loss changed the language of your faith? (Sorry, that one’s probably worth writing a whole book on. 😬)
What have you found most helpful to you when you feel like you've lost your spiritual footing. How has that worked for you? Asking for a friend....
How to approach the Bible with littles (i.e. preschool age) to build a healthy relationship with God, while staying away from potentially damaging OT stories about God? For example, Abraham going to sacrifice Isaac or how to approach the Creation story without taking it literally?
In light of the current political environment in the United States (I know you are a Canadian) and the marriage of the conservative Christian church to the current political process, how do you maintain any semblance of belief in God, God's goodness, and love? I'm using RHE's phrase, "On the days I believe this" much more frequently lately.
Do you have any resources or wisdom for dating as a progressive Christian? How on earth do you actually take the risk of choosing to marry someone? This is what's weighing on me at the moment as I navigate my mid-twenties. How do you break up with someone with kindness?
Hey Sarah!
Thanks for asking us to ask! Being part of this community is really life giving being among like-minded and civil folk - civility is something we sadly can’t count on these days and it’s a gift to be among those who wrestle with hard questions and don’t demand easy answers!!
What has been your favorite novel you’ve read this year??
Do you prefer coffee or tea? Cake or scones? Any favorite season? How do you like your eggs?
Do you work with individuals as a Spiritual Director?
A question for consideration for you to answer:
Do you think that some of the verses in the Bible which talk about eunuchs are referring to LGBTQ+ people? And if so, can you expand on that thought.
Matthew 19:12; Isaiah 56:3-5; Acts 8: 26-29; Isaiah 56: 1-12
How can one live their truth and be of service when they are on disability? I’m feeling lost and alone and loosing my sense of purpose in the world the longer I am off work. I desperately want to share my gifts but can’t anymore because I’m not working.
What do you think of Anne of Green Gables retellings and modernizations? (Personally, I like the idea more than the executions I’ve read, though there is one graphic novel I thought would be a good intro for some kids. Some modern retellings have put Diana and Anne together as a couple. I love LBGTQ+ representation in books, but I also love Anne and Gilbert and don’t want that to be messed with. Thoughts?)
What is something you wish you had known before getting married? What would you say to your younger 30 year old self?
How do you navigate the distracting world of social media while also not losing your soul?
With the last few years feeling like emotional whiplash, how do you care for yourself?
How do u access God when at your worst moments? When u feel 100% alone. You know God is there but you cannot feel it?
Just last night I opened "The Making of Biblical Womanhood" and her introduction said she didn't know you personally but found one of your books really supportive and meaningful. What is it like for you when something like that happens? I gave a little cheer.
I was wondering if your daughter had left for college (I think you said that was her post high school plan) and how you were doing as a mother? Any guidance for those of sending our young adults out into the world?
Fellow Whovian here — what is your favorite Doctor Who moment? Be it serious, silly, simple, etc.
I'd love to hear your perspective from afar on the US presidential election. The DNC has been like church so far, so it's top of mind, but I really am wondering what all of this looks like from the outside.
What are your thoughts & beliefs about Hell?
Do you still have the ache?
Hi Sarah I am obsessed with you. My question what is your stand on hell?
And evil and satan and the minions of darkness supposedly trying to drag souls into hell…
I can only find $13.99 on kindle🤷♀️🤷♀️
As a "I only buy books on sale" reader, let me promise you - it's absolutely worth the $13.99
I’m sure it is. Just don’t understand the price difference
Amazon changes those "deals" at random times. No rhyme or reason, just like the rest of life.
At 6:09 it said the kindle edition was $13.49 😫